When I touched you today
it felt like the first time
like the first time I touched you.
And when I saw you
I saw you more beautiful
than I forgot to remember you.
No mildew of old stories
no residues of past pains
no expectations or plans.
Just you and I in the absence of everything.
Your shores kissed my feet
sea swept across my skin.
I giggled and smiled and
gave in to your gift.
You and I were enough
as perfectly this.
I didn’t blame you
for anything or anyone.
I didn’t sob on your shores
over who you’ve unbecome.
I relaxed into your presence
and there we became one.
Then the waves came crashing
like they always do.
You like to try and drown me
don’t you?
You teach me to be humble
FUCK YOU, love you, God you.
And in your brightest light
I see my darkest shadow
triggering that old victimhood.
But you sprinkle me
with sweetness
stars that kiss me like no one else ever could.
Why do you do me so hard and so good?
It’s not easy being your lover
but hey I guess that’s our play.
Forgive me for the times I leave you
forgive me for wanting to stray.
Thank you for being here
thank you for letting me stay.
Forgive me because one day
you will actually push me away.
Even though your wildness
shows me where I ache.
When I cherish your beauty
there are endless angles to thank.
So thank you simply
for always being you.
I love you forever and always
even when I forget to.
Thank you for how much you’ve taught me
about how to unconditionally love.
I love you for breaking me so badly
I surrendered to becoming my one.
Home you are this heart of mine
that forever will be true.
Home is where I feel together
the divinity of me and you.
When the moment arrives
for us to say farewell
please know that I will always
remember your intoxicating spell.
Please know that even if I
run away and create something new
I will always and forever
remember the gift of you.
And if for whatever reason
it hurts too much to come back again
please know that in my heart
I am with you to the end.
For perhaps I am a woman
who was born to forever roam
but you will always and forever
be my sacred rebirth home.
Camille I loved reading this today! I’m starting to see the many angles of your feelings towards your home. She protects you, holds you, she shows you love, she breaks you. But you can’t unlove her because she’s the place where you feel the happiest and most ALIVE. What a beautiful thing! You recognize the need to praise her bc she is so lovely. But then you also recognize the parts of yourself that hurt, are normal, and that make you HUMAN. These parts are beautiful too. We are on the same journey!! I believe there is a silver lining for us. Love you sister!! <3
Awwwww I love you!! Thank you for feeling me, seeing me, understanding me so deeply. Thank you for reminding me we are not alone <3 <3 <3 Bless you!
You are not alone! And now I know that I’m not either. And through you’re blog we’ll find so many others just like us. Thank goodness right!? What you said below is on point too. The unknown is okay. To roam is okay. To have many homes is okay. And to stay put sometimes is okay. As long as we come to approve of the journey we create. I think that’s the best part, that we write our story. Mine has been hard but I’m still happy with the twists and turns. It seems we help direct life but damn if it still doesn’t always get its way!! I will be starting a blog on my return from Thailand. And I hope you will follow so you see how crazy alike we are. I hope I can inspire others the way you have inspired me. It has become my immediate goal and given me purpose again 🙏🏼 Stay sweet! Love Always <3
You’re such a ray of sunshine. I relate to you in many, many ways. I’m curious to know where you will go once you leave PV? The stimulation the jungle offers seems impossible to duplicate. Perhaps Corn?
Awwwww thank you!!!!! Actually, my heart is feeling drawn to Hawaii. Though I also see that it’s perfect right now to be in this unknown space, to have many homes, to still roam, and to stay in places long enough to create home there. Sending you lots of love <3
What a beautiful poem! This reminded me of my sojourns and solo walks through the jungles behind my backyard at my farm house. After a time, I only used to travelt o my farmhouse to walk through the jungle and be with nature. It changed me a lot – both physically and psychologically. I believe I owe a part of my life to the wilderness. And thanks for reinvigorating that fire in me with this subtle poem. Greatly written.
Wow so beautiful thank you for sharing Barbara <3 You are the wild <3
Thank you for posting this article, it was really helpfull. Great Article.
https://apkxyz.com/