I confess I’m addicted to Facebook
Twitter, Instagram, and Email
I’m addicted to the comments and likes
and how special they make me feel.
The first thing I see before bed
and the first thing I see when I wake
is the list of status updates
on my Facebook page.
I’m addicted to the rush I get
from a like, a comment, a retweet.
like a well trained dog I reach for my phone
with every buzz and ding.
I’m addicted to having all the information
right there at my fingertips
I never have to know the answers
Google tells me everything that exists.
I’d never eat my meal before snapping
and sharing it on Instagram
even over dinner I’m checking
oh sweet I’ve got 10 new fans!!!
I can’t go somewhere in the world
that doesn’t have wifi
on a white sand beach in paradise
one hand holds a coconut
the other my digital device.
I’m addicted to keeping the world up to date
with my bikini photos and travel status
after all everyone needs to know
that my life is just so fabulous.
It’s easier to have relationships
online than in real life
I’m addicted to the barriers
and the easy connection they provide.
I’m addicted to the progress I gain
as my fans go from hundreds to thousands
when my numbers go up I know it means
hey, I must be worth something!
I’m addicted to how good I feel
when my followers tell me that I’m amazing
I’m addicted to how bad I feel
when no one seems to say anything.
But all the likes in the world can’t inspire me.
And a million twitter followers won’t complete me.
No matter how full my inbox
I will still feel empty.
So I’m closing my computer.
I’m turning off my phone.
I’m going outside.
I’m going to be alone.
I’m walking towards the ocean.
I’m stepping my bare feet on the ground.
I’m quieting my constant chatter.
I’m listening to how nature sounds.
And in this moment
with only me, the wind, and the rushing tide
I find myself remembering
how it feels to be alive.
‘Cause the only thing that really matters
is this Earth that I am touching.
The only thing that really matters
is being loved and loving.
Beautiful post! And one I’m sure that a lot of us can identify with. Even I have started turning off my phone as much as I can, because when it’s on I cannot stop checking to see how our stats are, how many Facebook likes we have, etc. It’s important to know when to disconnect.
Thanks Andrea. Yep, I’m planning to start several new practices to help me disconnect…so that I can connect. Such an important reminder 🙂
Its a common problem. Mine too. And here I am.feeding your addiction with mine..
Check out this post I wrote about using the internet mindfully:
http://pavonesyogacenter.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/can-i-have-your-attention-please-practicing-mindfulness-in-the-digital-world/
It’s good to set limits on how often to check your social media… i try to look only morning and night & turned off phone notifications from twitter, IG, and facebook so I’m not tempted.
Nice. Awesome to hear from another blogger who is practicing mindfulness in the way that she interacts with the online world 🙂 I’m going to set more limits for myself and will even start practicing “no wifi weekends” when I go to see my family for the holidays this month.
Beautiful photos as always, in today’s world, yes social media is a parameter we can use and everyone who uses loves to see the response. It is good to disconnect, to see the world as it is in a natural state. But please keep sharing your incredible adventure and life, many people are able to participate in your life, even if they cannot physically. They can then fuel their ambitions, perhaps they can then feel,the confidence to move forward with their own adventure in life.
Thank, you I totally agree. You might be interested in this post I wrote about using the web in a mindful way:
http://pavonesyogacenter.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/can-i-have-your-attention-please-practicing-mindfulness-in-the-digital-world/
“I recognized the incredible potential of the online world for cultivating connection and awareness across time and space. I acknowledged it as an avenue for sharing insights and lending encouragement.”
It seems you are finally realizing that in “packing up and moving to a beach to become “earthy, aware and removed from society” that you are no different than the environment from which you ran (or ventured…whichever word is most fitting). Just takes on a different form of that consumption ‘gimme gimme’ mindset. I am also guessing you couldn’t just give it all up to “live and just be”…even 80-90% of the time. In reality, you are actually fueled by everything you seem to write against. No surprise for me to read all this. Just some things you might want to think about…
First, I’d like to say that this post is an exaggeration to make a point. It’s a piece of art not a passage from my diary. It’s a statement on my generation as a whole. Based on your highly critical comments on my last few posts you seem to have a lot of anger surrounding what I write about. Perhaps you could think about why you’re so triggered by it and see how you can grow, rather than fixating on me and what I am or am not doing right.
Much more polite than I could have been. Bravo.
😉
I agree. Dont take what he says to heart please sweet Camille. There are always going to be haters who want to bring others down. I think what you wrote here is right on with the way we are as a whole. You are teaching and inspiring and brave. I will say it again. I’m proud of you. Love always
Thank you so much Anne <3
Psycho babble — there is no “trigger” needing evaluation. It’s called you’re posting in a public forum. It’s also called the trigger it sets off in you when you don’t get viewers that bow down at your posts (just like you admit to craving). There is no need for me to evaluate. We read things in life and some things, we agree with and some things we don’t. Do we all need psychological evaluation, Camille, and personal growth when we choose to state an observation? Perhaps you need some growth in this area of that is what you think when someone disagrees with your blog post…wow.
Lokah samastha sukhino bhavantu.
Yes, I have peace and harmony in my life, Camille. And hope the same for you and all around. Because I have a different viewpoint doesn’t mean I do not. A public blog invites outsider insight. It is what you signed up for. Doesn’t mean I am a bad person…or that you are. This is just a blog. Nothing to get too ruffled about. Just making observations and keeping my internal peace at the same time. It can be done.
Hello Camille,
I cant help but comment that Dax has a point with respect to some contradictions you seem to make. you have already made the realization that everything you need/needed is inside you and not in some paradise setting, you are right about that, but it can seem a little contradictory to your life style. for example the need to move away, the need to have social media.
I know what dax was feeling and why he commented on your post. He realized the irony of a person giving wise advise when in fact, the person giving the advise shows through their writing/thoughts that they are not so wise themselves. he wanted to show you that you might have some more inner growth that needs to be exploited.
your emotional response made it obvious that he might be right to a degree in your heart and mind.
You know you have reached a level wisdom and self content/self truth when you are open to criticisms..always be a student ; )
now, with that said, I am going to tell you something i discovered as I also have been traveling the world and have posted my journeys online. If you are able to read this with an open heart and mind, you are truly a wise student. I have noticed some small notions in your blogs that relate to my past realization, and that realization is that i was a little self centered…lol…just a little. I would post beautiful pictures and too many sentences with “me” and “I”. It was obvious a part of me was proudly showing off to others what “I” had accomplished, to make “Me” feel like “I” was worth something. take “This American Girl” for example.
Is a higher level of selflessness another step towards your journey’s end result..maybe ; )
It is ok to let out some of these raw emotions i believe and long as you admit it,and control it.. what are your thoughts on that ?
You will in time, through your blogs, see the transformation of your heart for better or for worse, as so will i, not to mention grandchildren looking back to be inspired by their piers.
my name is Jordan, and I travel the world. just as the description you have for your future lover ; ) I’m sure you have one of two emotional reactions right now:
one, is to slap me and the other is to kiss me, I prefer the later lol ; ).message me if you like 574-797-0883. headed to Costa Rica, have you been there ?
Hahaha thank you for helping me with your comment and for making me laugh 🙂 <3
Oh one thought, what if every “I” and “me” that was written, wasn’t the “I” of the ego, but the “eye” of the collective? 😉 Just a little riddle hehe!
It’s so hard to disconnect especially when you’re relying on it all for work…it sounds hypocritical since the internet and social media networks have allowed me to do what I’m currently doing, but personally I really wish they didn’t have the power or draw that they do.
I completely understand. We can inspire each other to set better boundaries 🙂
Ah, I love it. So incredibly relevant!
The worst thing I do is, “this sunset would make a good photo…” instead of simply enjoying it.
Time to turn off for me too 😛
Yes absolutely. I’ve noticed while I’m alone enjoying something in nature, thinking about how I’m going to write about it later. I’m practicing allowing some moments to just be for me, not for the blog, not for my social media. Thank you for your comment 🙂 <3
I’m a new fan to your blog. I was initially attracted to it via twitter as I’m a big time fan of travel and travel blogs in general.
However, the more posts I read, the more pictures I view, I get a sense, in fact I know, that you are more than your blog, more than where you have been, more than the likes on social media.
You are a unique human being and you are not afraid to be yourself and put up your hand and say “NO!” to the chaos that being connected can bring along with the benefits of it. I find this refreshing and powerful at the same time. If we can all progress towards becoming our own unique selves as opposed to trying to be who we or other think we ought to be, much suffering in this world would be eased if not eliminated entirely.
So thank you for being who you are and for your blog. This is an awesome post 🙂
Aw thank you so much Matthew!! 🙂
My addiction is worse than yours. Lol. I am impelled to write you today. I met you in June of 2013 in PV and I am sure you don’t remember me, maybe I’m wrong? We were both buying juice in front of playa cocles from the best fruit guy on the beach. I told u I read your blog and you thought I was just lying to you. Maybe you were teasing me or being humble but I was sincere.
I must give you some feedback on how you made me feel then, now, and every time I read one of your blog posts. You are a wonderful, beautiful, hard working, go getter, that has figured out so much in a few years, wait for it, by being alone and discovering yourself by looking inward and discovering the light of god in you!
I don’t really know you but I am so proud of what you have done for YOU! It’s so inspiring and beautiful to see from the outside.
Every one of your posts reveal so much about you, your honesty, your passion, your hangups, your learning, your disipline, and mostly your adventurous spirit. I think every post reminds us of ourselves and our untapped power that you have tapped into for yourself and discovered your power, peace , and love.
I look back on my life and see the many opportunities I have conquered just like you, and I have had many victories in life, but many of them pale in comparison to your bravery, see I am more careful and calculated. I think that’s my lesson from you, to just go for it and live that dream.
I live a dream here in Las Vegas, most would give a lot to have, but I continue to dream more, more about the beach, and the ever growing need to check out and truly find myself. Just like you have done!
I salute you Camille for your bravery in finding you, and revealing yourself to others in this journey, I wish you love, kindness, adventure, happiness, and excitement forever, keep the blogs coming, we will be hanging on every word, picture, and lesson!
May god always bless you from within, as you have discovered. Have a great day, and order an extra orange juice at playa cocles for me from the kindest juice man in PV , and as always. Pura Vida!!!
Joel
Joel, I’m so touched by your message. And yes I do remember! I think my Mom was with me, right? Wow, what incredible compliments, genuinely some of the kindest, most encouraging words someone has every said to me. I’m grateful to have met you and to have you as a reader. Keep pursuing your dreams <3
I think you speak for many now that we are all connected. I want you to know I am enjoying every word and photo you post. You posted a little prayer/chant that I cannot find, and want to use myself so now I’m reading it all over again. Thank you.
Thank you so much Cynde <3 Was the chant "pacha mama madre tierra"? I wrote a blog post about it here:
https://www.thisamericangirl.com/2014/11/18/nature-heals/