A Love Letter From a Woman Who Travels Alone - This American Girl

Koh Rong Samloem


I want you to know that I am happy.

I am so happy that sometimes I wonder if my heart might explode.

I am happy with my freedom and I am happy all on my own.


Koh Rong Samloem


But sometimes I think about you.


Koh Rong Samloem


I think about how despite how much I love being alone

how nice it would feel to be with you.

How nice it would feel to love you.


Koh Rong Samloem


And then I get scared.


Koh Rong Samloem


I get scared that by loving you I might stop loving myself.

I might lose myself.

Revert back to being someone I worked hard to grow up from.

Forget what I love most of all.

This life that I’m already living.

This freedom I have exploring and being.

A life where you don’t exist at all.


A Love Letter  - 06


I wonder if I let you in if I would still have space for me.

Would I let my love for you devour my love for me?

Would being with you trap and limit me?

Would being with you stop me from traveling?

Would being with you domesticate me?


Koh Rong Samloem


It’s easy for me to imagine feeling happy, content, free on my own.

Because, well, I am.

Harder yet to imagine feeling happy, content, free with you.

Because I never did with another man.


Koh Rong Samloem


But sometimes I still think about you.

In fact, it’s like I can see you.


Koh Rong Samloem


Taking sunrise photos

Before going for a beach run

paddling out into the ocean

before catching a last minute flight.


Koh Rong Samloem


You’re beautiful and confident

Humble and totally secure.

Talented and passionate

Smart and wickedly funny.


Koh Rong Samloem


You’re flexible and fun loving and easy going and silly.


Koh Rong Samloem


You’re so cool you’re not too cool

to sing karaoke

chant in a ceremony

open your hips in yoga

or get low to reggae.


Koh Rong Samloem


You’re sensitive and gentle but still so manly.


Koh Rong Samloem


In your presence instead of anxious or crazy

I feel grounded and at ease.

I can be bubbly and eccentric

playful and silly

pensive and melancholy

and you still love me.

I feel comfortable being totally me.


Koh Rong Samloem


I don’t criticize you or ever ask you to change.

No matter what you do, I accept you just the same.


Koh Rong Samloem


You love my sense of adventure

and encourage all of my dreams.

You’re completely independent

and love that I’m the same.


Koh Rong Samloem


We don’t need a title to grasp or to control

every moment we choose

if we’d rather be together than alone.

But our relationship is so solid

that we always know where we stand.


Koh Rong Samloem


Being with you doesn’t make me weak

it allows me to be strong.

It doesn’t make me go backwards

it helps me to grow.

Together we’re not limited

together we’re inspired.


Koh Rong Samloem


I’ll tell you I’m heading to Thailand

to wander and get lost and be found.

You’ll tell me you’re off to Indo

to be humbled by the waves that make you whole.

We’ll reunite in Laos both full

and ride motorcycles and swim in cave pools.


Koh Rong Samloem


Our relationship might be unconventional

but everything that I love is unconventional.

Everything that works in my life is unconventional.


Koh Rong Samloem


You might not be like anyone I’ve ever met

and our relationship might not be like anything I’ve ever seen

but that is the absolute beauty of falling in love

finding something you couldn’t have possibly imagined

with someone you couldn’t have possibly imagined.


Koh Rong Samloem


You may be too perfect

for me to possibly conceive

so today just for fun

I’ll let myself continue to dream.


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