Am I my name
that’s spelled and called
rolodexed and scrawled
printed on my certificate of birth
engraved on my stone of death?
Am I my gender
that appoints me a color
that dictates my behavior
that tells me what gender
I can and can’t love?
Am I my job
that assigns my tasks
that pays my bills
that takes my time
that distracts me from
where I truly belong?
Am I my government
who enforces my corrections
who programs my perceptions
who controls through deceptions?
Am I my family
who birthed me
who supported me
who abandoned me
who loves me
who hurts me?
Am I my culture
who showed me
when and how to use my mouth
when and how to move myself
when and where to expose myself?
If I am what I eat
am I all that I consume?
Am I my clothes my car my home
my stacking washer drier
my ultra lash mascara
my designer diaper bag
my stash of dirty mags?
Am I vegan raw gluten free?
Am I low carb paleo grass fed beef?
Am I free range organic raised naturally?
Am I the things that I do or don’t do?
The miles that I run
the projects I complete
the chores that go undone
the books I never read?
Am I the things that I do or don’t say?
The opinions I profess
the emotions I repress
the expression I dare not share
the chatter I release without care?
Am I my addictions?
My oral fixations
my sexual relations
my material attachments
my emotional reactions?
Am I what I fear most?
The monster under the bed
the spider above my head
the money I may never make
the possibility of vulnerability and heartbreak?
Am I the wounds that I carry through life
the scars from my past traumas
the pain of my ongoing dramas?
Am I a collection of the stories I believe?
That tell me right from wrong
that tell me what I can achieve?
Am I the ugliness I sometimes feel?
The body that should be thinner
the face that should be fairer
the mind that should be calmer
the heart that should be stronger?
Or am I just this being?
Who sees with these eyes
who breathes with this breath
who tastes with this mouth?
Who moves with this body
who thinks with this mind
who feels with this heart?
Who laughs and cries
who suffers and aches
who rejoices and celebrates?
Who has an inner fire that burns
with passion and intention
with the ability to release
without a moment of apprehension?
Who has the innate wisdom
the unfailing intuition
the unlimited propensity
to transform endlessly?
Who exists in this moment
that comes and goes
that ebbs and flows?
Am I just this being
who can choose to be anything
who can choose to be everything
who can choose to be nothing?
Am I that?
Am I none of that?
Am I all of that?
Am I so much more than that?
This is beautiful Camille – as always.
Thank you 🙂
Wow. That’s all I’ve got. Just wow. Thanks for the perspective and insight…
Thank you Brenda 🙂
This is so perfect for me right now. I have not liked some of your posts, been jealous and envious. But in the end You are You. And I love that about you Camille.
I am so tired of the world right now and the endless fighting and all that.
I need to go back today and read some of your posts from the past few months as I have had at least one if not 2 really big let downs today.
I have enjoyed reading your journey and you have helped me on mine.
Thank you so much. I am sure as I read through the few previous months I missed I will have more thoughts for you. But for now we are who we are.
🙂
Thank you Sue. I hope my blog can help you shed light on your journey <3
you have. your comments are amazing and beautiful. Thank you. <3
and your photos rock!
very thoughtful post!
Thanks Rachel x
You’re a wonderful and unique creation and a child of GOD. Have a GREAT and BLESSED DAY filled with love, joy and happiness…
Thank you Mike 🙂
You’re incredibly gifted is what you are. Beautiful, beautiful piece. It rocked me gently 🙂
Thank you <3
You are you…simple and beautiful. Thanks for writing, this piece is honest and sweet.
Thanks Amanda 🙂
Oh Camille, this really is breathtaking. I don’t know how, but you always open up my heart. Your language, your clear intention and your poetic structure, your colorful photography… it is just beautiful.
Thank you so much Danielle 🙂
Who are you?
Well, I pose another question: Why?
Why are you here in this place in this time in this moment in this life?
That question opposes introspection in a certain way, and suggests action.
At some point we all need introspection, but of course it is important to let go and to look beyond self and outward to the world around us, and to heal one must let go of the pain and disappointment of those who have failed themselves or others or even you. That is their verdict, their predicament. To live is to rise above it, not wallow in its contemplation.
Thank you for your insight Andrea. What I love so much about practicing yoga is how we can free ourselves from the suffering that comes from attaching to all of these things that we think that we are. Like the end of the post reads “am I that? am I none of that? am I all of that? am I so much more than that?” Sometimes I like to think that I’m just a bunch of stardust 🙂
This is really beautiful! I am so glad I found your site 🙂
Thank you so much Megan 🙂
Oh wow Camille, that was so inspiring. So simple yet so deep. Miss all of you.
Thank you Susanne, miss you and see you next time! <3
Camille, you are so incredibly insightful. When I took my Sattva Yoga training, we did a very in-depth and challenging exercise of asking a partner the question “who are you” and they would answer and we would again ask “who are you” and they would answer and we continued on for a very long time. It was exhausting and enlightening all at the same time. Thank you for sharing this very important message.
Thank you so much Colleen. I’ve heard of this exercise, though I’ve not done it before. I can imagine how deep it must go, and at the same time how awkward it can be even to simply sit and look someone in the eye for that long. Thank you for reading <3