Balangan

 

I don’t want to stay

in another cluttered

noisy dorm room.

 

Balangan

 

I don’t want to ask

and answer

the same tired questions:

 

Balangan

 

“Where have you been,”

“Where are you going,”

“Where are you from?”

 

Balangan

 

I don’t want to interact

on a level

of continuous superficiality

with people

who I will never see again.

 

Balangan

 

I don’t want to drink from a bucket

dance with teenagers

or sleep with earplugs.

 

Balangan

 

I don’t want to track every penny

haggle over a dollar

and lose opportunities

because I’m too poor.

 

Balangan

 

Maybe, I don’t want to be a backpacker anymore.

 

Balangan

 

I want to experience a place

without the limitations of the cost;

luxury cocktails on a rooftop

and dollar noodles in the street.

 

Balangan

 

I want to take hot showers

and sleep in real beds

then walk in dirty dusty markets

and lay awake on overnight trains.

 

Balangan

 

I want silence and isolation

I want quiet and calm

so I can process and express

the chaos I just saw.

 

Balangan

 

I want to spend my time

with people

who inspire me to do more

who really want to know me

and be known in return.

 

Balangan

 

I want to create

a sustainable business

that supports me and those I love

without the destruction of consumerism

without the stress of the modern world.

 

Balangan

 

I want the comfort of knowing

it’s ok for me to complain or to cry

without losing my ability

to soothe myself from the inside.

 

Balangan

 

I want to give back

to the places where I visit

change their lives like they changed mine

instead of constantly searching

for how I can survive.

 

Balangan

 

I want the chance to find love

to have a relationship

perhaps even a home;

without the monotony of normalcy

the boredom of what I’ve known.

 

Balangan

 

Maybe I’m asking for too much

maybe I sound spoiled

but if I’m being real

I want a life with everything

 

Balangan

 

 I want to have it all.

 

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