caribbean van

 

Last night a Caribbean surfer asked me

“do you ever sit still?”

 

It got me thinking.

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

I have been virtually incapable of sitting still for as long as I can remember.

 

Hyperactively running in circles around my backyard half naked screaming “I’m jungle boy!”

 

Gyrating in my seat in the classroom antsy to move, to speak, to create.

 

Strutting ahead of my group of friends on the street

“slow down turbo” they would shout.

 

Consistently receiving the same feedback on my report card

“can not sit still in class.”

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

So it makes perfect sense

that today

as a wanderlust adventure junkie

I have found happiness

and ease

in constant movement

all over the world

held back by no one

completely free.

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

I can hop a ferry from Spain to Morocco

in a spontaneous quest for adventure.

 

Spend one afternoon in Leon

and decide to leave when it fails to charm me.

 

I can book a last minute flight from Colombia

when my funds drop to frightening lows.

 

I can come and go

wherever I want

whenever I want.

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

It is so easy

to pack my bag

and run away

to new places

with new people

new sights new smells

new stimulation.

 

I find this beautiful.

I find this freedom.

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

But freedom is also feeling content

and enchanted

wherever you are.

 

Because you can be as trapped in a cycle of constant moment

as driftwood caught in a riptide

always moving

but going nowhere.

 

Little Corn Island

 

So even when my feet feel itchy

from time to time I bring myself here.

 

To remember how to simply be.

 

To see how much I can grow when my restless traveling energy flows inward for a while instead.

 

To remember how to be ok sitting still.

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

What does it mean to sit still?

 

Is it waiting for someone to finish a sentence

without interjecting the thoughts you’ve already formulated in your head?

 

Is it laying on the beach without fulfilling your urge to shift, to walk, to wander?

 

Is it sleeping in a hostel for more than one night?

Staying in a town for more than a week? More than a month? More than a year?

 

Deciding to stay long enough to invest in a home, a job, a business

to invest in belongings, relationships, a life.

 

To stick around long enough to watch everything around you grow and change

rather than moving to see something that is already so obviously different?

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

Or is it simply being content in one place

a physical, an emotional, a mental, a spiritual

place

for as long as you are there

no matter the duration?

 

punta uva puerto viejo

 

Do you shift and change your location

your dwellings

your relationships

when things get too uncomfortable

for you to want to face?

 

pulperia punta uva

 

Do you move your body

in unison with your buzzing mind

scheduling

multi-tasking

busying

in a constant attempt

to distract yourself

rather than face what is truly going on inside?

 

Like me

do you struggle

to sit still?

 

punta uva playa grande

 

As a person passionate about experiencing every square mile of this muddy, sandy, grassy, water covered earth

I wonder

does sitting still require the absence of movement

while wandering the world means the absence of rest?

 

Is it possible to find stillness in movement and movement in stillness?

 

punta uva playa grande

 

Can you surrender, relax, and breathe

 

speeding on the highway to your next engagement

 

task managing your day at the office

 

relocating for a job, a loved one, an adventure

 

winding desert mountains on rickety buses

 

flying above vast waters on turbulent airplanes

 

climbing volcanoes for miles under the hot equatorial sun

 

paddling with fury to catch the set breaking behind you

 

searching for water, food, and shelter

in a new town in a new language?

 

arrecife punta uva

 

Can you sit still in unity

no matter what is moving

no matter what is changing?

 

puerto viejo jungle

 

In your stillness

can you watch the change of the tide in the same ocean that has known you all your life?

You, the constant that is always changing.

 

Can you stand at your window and see the hummingbirds buzz around the sweetest flowers

while a sloth slowly moves from limb to limb?

 

Can you sit with your breath and feel how it deepens the longer you sit, the longer you stay?

 

puerto viejo jungle

 

Can you release your mind and let it be free

while you sit surrendered

melted like an ice cream cone

on a hot Caribbean afternoon?

 

Tayrona National Park Colombia

 

Can you allow your body hold you

in one place

for as long as it needs to

without the distraction

the business

the hurriedness

the chattiness

of your mind?

 

To see the quiet movement within you?

The subtle movement around you?

 

arrecife punta uva

 

Just for today, could you try?

 

Could you find a place of stillness

no matter who you are

no matter where you are ?

 

punta uva arrecife view

 

Whether you’re a backpacker

a wanderer

a daydreamer

a busy-body

a multi-tasker

a stressor

could you sit for a moment

and see that even in stillness

everything continues to change?

 

Could you find the perfect moment

where you feel so continually

effortlessly

fluidly

still?

 

koki beach puerto viejo

 

Sometimes

even in my restless explorative traveling body

that loves to wander

to flutter

to dance

(yes Caribbean surfer dude)

I do find stillness.

 

And it doesn’t itch at all.

 

 

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Hello beautiful soul, 

In August 2018 I stopped blogging as This American Girl. Six years ago I started this blog with a simple desire to share my heart and ended up creating a revolution among millions of free spirits wanting something greater for their lives. And now, it's time to keep growing together. If you want to take a quantum leap in what you can create in your reality, I invite you to join The Freedom Tribe, where I share all of my guidance for the freedom lifestyle. Then, hop over to my new website camillewillemain.com where I'm sharing my new message and brand. Thank you for your interest and investment in This American Girl, whether today or for many years. Wishing you a bright and beautiful continuation of your journey. 

So much love,
Camille