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Tomorrow I depart for Costa Rica.

 

The country where I began my travels.

The country that I fell in love with.

The country that changed me.

 

And here I am.

Already going back.

Again.

For the sixth time this year.

 

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But this time I have decided

to not return

to Puerto Viejo.

 

Not now. Not just yet. 

 

Because I need a new experience. I need a new home.

 

And each time I return to the little jungle town I love so dearly, in the beginning I struggle.

I struggle in my attempt to recreate my last experience.

 

And many times I yearn for my life in my little bungalow in the jungle with my best friend Andie. When everything was new. When everything was possible.

 

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Why do we look backwards?

 

To old places.

Past friendships.

Former lovers.

 

To give us something

that we need today?

 

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Because we want something so desperately and cannot imagine finding it somewhere new?

 

Things are not what they were.

We are not who we were.

And we will never get back what we had.

 

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But if we open ourselves

to what could be

we may find

something more incredible

than we could have even imagined

in the most unlikely place.

 

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When I stop looking back

when I stop forcing something to be what it was

and continue living in the present

instead of the past

I find myself exactly where I need to be.

 

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And the beauty

in roaming this earth

as a traveler

is the way

that it helps me

let things go

by watching

the old

drift away

and allowing the new

to teach me

another lesson.

 

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Tomorrow

when I return to Costa Rica

with a new travel companion

to new beaches

where I will make new friends

and gain new experiences

 

I will observe with wide eyes.

I will consider with a willing mind.

And I will trust with an open heart.

 

playa cocles

 

Please, don’t look back.

Because what is here

what is ahead

is beautiful

and ready

to change your life.

 

Again, and again.

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