Two weeks ago I returned to my hometown.
It is cold and rainy here.
I am living on my mother’s couch.
In a suburb across a bridge from the city.
The nearest beach has pebbles for sand and swimming in the water will literally give you hypothermia.
There is no papaya, save for the unripe ones sold in Chinatown, imported from Southeast Asia, for the price of a hostel bed.
I cannot walk to the water, the jungle, or yoga.
There is a gold and diamonds pawnshop, an adult toys boutique, and a Salvadorian bakery just around the corner.
If I borrow the car, I can drive to a co-op. There I can buy canned coconut water for three dollars.
My life has changed a lot in the last two weeks.
But my mother’s couch is in my mother’s house and in my mother’s house is my mother.
Baking me homemade plum and blueberry crisp.
Teaching me watercolor techniques at the dining room table.
Leaving a new pair of pajamas on my “bed”.
Telling me at least ten times a day how happy she is that I’m home.
Here, in this rough around the edges neighborhood, lives my sister.
The one person in this world who might actually be perfect.
Her sweet smile and gentle voice greeting me at the door.
Then comes my babbling baby nephew, crawling across hardwoods in his caterpillar pajamas.
Smiling when I walk in.
Grabbing fistfuls of my hair and chewing on my chin.
Across the bridge is a city, a beautiful city.
Filled with friends who love me.
Restaurants with four walls and fancy cocktails.
Water views everywhere I turn.
Art and theater and music and all of the luxuries a city allows.
There may not be beaches but there are mountains and lakes.
And papaya and mango may disappoint but we have the sweetest, tartest, crispest apples in the world.
Life may feel easier, happier for me on a South American Caribbean beach.
But I choose my own happiness.
And I can choose it here, for the time that I am here.
This is my fourth time in the last year coming back home. I know how difficult it is transitioning back to what many people call “the real world”.
Because of this, before I returned, I devised a plan that I would like to share with all of you, to make the transition a little easier.
1. Get Excited
The first thing I do is remind myself of everything I that love about home. Especially things that are not available in the places where I have been traveling.
And
I
get
EXCITED.
To see my family, my friends.
To cook in a well equipped, modern kitchen.
To have clothes that are actually clean and dry.
To have access to any kind of food that I want to eat.
What do you love about the place that you are returning to?
What luxuries did you let go of in your travel life?
Maybe you actually decided that you don’t need those luxuries anymore.
You can still be decadent and enjoy them when you return.
Get excited.
2. Set a Long Term Goal
Sooner than you realize, the novelty of first world luxuries will wear off. Sitting at your parent’s house in your pajamas catching up on your favorite shows on Hulu does not maintain its charm forever. This is why you need a long term goal.
Something that reminds you of why exactly you are here.
That this is only a state of transition.
That things will get better.
Did you return home to go back to school? To start a business? To work and save money for future travel? To prepare for a move?
Do not forget your goal.
Continue working toward that goal.
It will give your actions intention and purpose.
Knowing that this transition does not last forever, you can actually enjoy the present moment more fully.
3. Develop a Routine
Having a routine makes me feel happier, more comfortable, and more grounded. I find it’s incredibly effective at making transitions easier.
It makes a place feel like my own.
Like I have some control when everything is changing.
It is something I can count on.
Being from Seattle my first step is always to find my coffee shop.
The little café on the corner in Trastevere when I studied abroad in Rome.
A hip college spot across from Forsyth Park on an extended stay in Savannah.
La Botanica Organica in Playa Chiquita.
Today, where I am writing this now, Cupcake Royale in West Seattle.
I feel security knowing I can make it to my café at the same time every morning, open my laptop, and begin to write.
Where can you find routine exactly where you are today?
Could you run on the waterfront every morning?
Step out of your office and sit with a cup of tea and a cookie each afternoon?
Move through a relaxing yoga flow before you go to bed?
What would make you feel grounded? At home?
4. Bring What You Love About Your Travel Life Into Your New Life
Your fear of returning home may center on the idea that you will revert back to being the person you were before. That everything you learned through your travels will somehow disappear.
This is not true.
Maybe you developed a yoga practice.
Replaced television with books.
Felt more social and open with strangers.
Became less judgmental.
More self focused.
You don’t have to let that go.
When I returned home from Costa Rica last year, I had changed immensely. I missed living in the jungle, answering to no one, buying nothing, and spending most of my time on the beach. However, I found ways for my life in Seattle to more closely align with my life in Costa Rica.
I turned my cell phone off most of the time, or left it at home altogether.
I cooked myself huevos rancheros for breakfast every morning.
I sat in a chair and read for hours rather than watching anything on a screen.
Maybe what you miss most about traveling is living your life for yourself.
Consciously deciding how to spend every moment rather than appeasing the demands of others.
Living for your own happiness, not for outside approval.
You can absolutely replicate this at home.
5. Accept That There Are Things You Can’t Bring Home
Last year I remember buying flavorless mangos at the grocery store every day.
I remember wearing brightly colored tank tops in March and freezing in the house.
I remember going to dance clubs only to be disappointed by the price of tequila and lack of Reggaeton.
Enjoy where you are now for what and where it is.
Focus on what makes it special.
Perfect summer berries and juicy peaches.
Picnics in the park bundled up in a blanket.
The moment the sky turns blue after days and days of gray and rain.
Tiptoeing through silent rooms in art museums.
Family dinner.
Life is much easier when you love and accept where you already are rather than fighting to make it something else.
6. Explore Your City Like a Tourist
Treat your city the way you treated each of your travel destinations.
Wander the streets taking photographs.
Observe in wonder.
Be curious, not judgmental.
Fall in love with what you see.
7. Be Patient
It takes time.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Don’t be so hard on where you are.
Resist the urge to speak or think negatively about this place.
Resist the urge to compare.
You chose to be here, so be here. It might feel uncomfortable for a while. That is part of change.
8. Know That Your “Real Life” Can be Anything You Want it to Be
You don’t have go back to living the life you used to live if you don’t want to.
Maybe you came home and realized it isn’t what you want anymore.
That is ok.
If you want to continue to travel, find a way to make that feasible for you.
If you want to live in the middle of nowhere in Southeast Asia, allow that to be your reality.
My life when I am traveling is my real life. It may be a different life from the one most people are living. It may have its difficulties like any other life. But it is the life that I want to live. And it is real.
Choose the life you want to live, for yourself.
I have followed your travels and admire your courage to travel as you have. It must have given you such a sense of freedom with no rules and stressors that “reall life” offers. I feel your pain to have to return to “real life”, but I am sure you will adjust. You should be so proud of yourself and hopefully the good memories will carry you through these difficult days adjusting. I admire your spirit! I hope you will continue to blog your journey!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am already adjusting, but also preparing for my next trip March 2nd. Life constantly in flux. Stay tuned 🙂
Beautiful Camille – very true!
Thanks honey! Thought this would be timely for you 😉
You captured the essence of returning home after travel so well. I agree that it has always been bittersweet, but I also found that each time I returned to my hometown and unpacked my suitcase in my childhood bedroom I loved that town a little more. I desperately missed travel and the freedom that I felt it allowed me, but I learned to love where I was. And my therapy was always planning my next big adventure. That kept me grounded.
I’ll be thinking of you as you continue to acclimate.
Of course, you know, having cause to acclimate just means you gave yourself wholly and fully to the life you were living abroad. And not everyone can do that either.
I totally agree that wherever you are, be all there, even when sometimes you desperately want to be somewhere else! I am preparing to embark again March 2nd, so I won’t have to withstand the cold for too much longer 😉 I enjoyed your post about what you missed about the USA and what you miss about travel. I can relate. Thanks for stopping by! xo
I came home from five years in Asia and realized I had changed so much, that HOME, Vancouver, WA, wasn’t home anymore. My family, my life before travel, it didn’t fit and that hurt. I’m leaving and going back to Asia. Then on to India. The family is confused, my mom angry…but I’m going….
Hi Yeshi, thank you for your comment. I can completely relate. Remember that living the life that brings you the most joy ultimately offers more joy to your family and friends. Oh, and please give me your Asia tips!! I am headed to Southeast Asia in a couple of months.
Great post, Camille. I only wish I had come across this sooner since the past seven months back home in Baltimore have been a bigger challenge than I ever had living in Spain for two years. I didn’t get the memo that living in Spain would change me so much, or that “settling down” afterwards would be such a struggle.
I can relate to what you’re saying, Yeshi, because all I really want to do now is move back to Spain (or Argentina or Chile or Colombia), but my family doesn’t get it, least of all my mom and my sister. I’ve yet to make the same bold step you made, but it could happen any day…
Thanks Patrick 🙂 I’m actually originally from Baltimore. My Mom grew up there and I have tons of family scattered throughout Maryland the rest of the east coast. Be where you are when you are there and make the most of it, but if it doesn’t make you happy begin to pave out the life that does. When your family sees you growing and flourishing when you’re following your dharma the support will come. Stay strong!! xoxo
Hey Patrick,
I’m from Maryland originally and I was wondering if you’ve checked out the CouchSurfing group there. It’s pretty active. A lot of folks just like you who love to travel, but are in the States right now. Some Americans, but lots of different cultures represented. If you’re not familiar it’s CouchSurfing.org, but you don’t have to open up your couch to travelers to join in at the meet-ups and things they have in town. They used to have a Facebook group too. Just a thought – maybe connect with some people who know exactly what you’re going through.
GREAT advice Rachel, thank you for sharing 🙂
Thanks, Rachel and Camille, for the encouragement and suggestions. Cool that you are both originally from Baltimore!
I am a member of Couchsurfing and have participated quite a lot as both a host and guest — and have never had a bad experience (much to the shock and fascination of people who are not as inclined to readily participate in something requiring this sort of ‘adventurous’ streak). It’s incredible how the people I’ve met through Couchsurfing — while remarkably diverse — share a very similar mindset which I don’t know exactly how to articulate. In general, it’s a love and fascination of different cultures and languages and the openness to selflessly learn about these things. I will definitely look into getting involved in the Baltimore chapter, I had never even considered that before!
I’d be lying if I said the past 8 months or so that I’ve been home have been completely terrible: really quite the contrary. I’m blessed to have had many great friends from growing up, high school, and college, in addition to my family, who are mostly still in Baltimore. I’ve had some great experiences since I’ve been back reconnecting with people I had only peripherally kept in touch with while in Spain. I love Baltimore, and I love being from here.
What was so great about being in Spain was this ‘unbridled’ mindset that I adopted and being around so many people so different from myself. Of course, there was the “Spanish” thing also. I just hope that wasn’t the last time I’ll have that type of experience.
Let me know if you guys ever happen to be in Baltimore! Best wishes.
I am heading back to the Midwest after living in the Caribbean for 2.5 years. Your blog really reminds of the things I will miss from my little island…I can’t wait until I can travel again…
What island were you living on? There’s so much more of the Caribbean I’d like to see. Good luck on your upcoming transition and remember you can leave again if you want! <3
I was/am living on St. Kitts. It’s very pretty and the people are wonderful…I recommend it if you come back this way 🙂 I really want my next travels to be in Turkey/Greece area…goals to work towards!!
Always 🙂
This is just what I needed after recently returning from Costa Rica and struggling with being home. You touched on so many of my worries and struggles. I seriously feel better already! Thank you!
You’re so welcome <3
Your posts are wonderful. Reading them has helped me feel less isolated. Thank you for sharing the insights you’ve learned along your travels, they are beautiful.
Thank you Kim <3
Love this! Wrote a similar piece about “Life After Traveling” which was published in another large online blog. I can relate to how you feel and love the game plan approach you took towards this!
So glad you liked it Anna 🙂
Just got back to Montreal. So needed this, turning my Netflix off and turning my smile on. Thanks lady, you’re a gem.
You’re welcome sweetness. <3
Hi. I think if you live most of the time in Costa Rica you should call it home not holiday. Buy a house there and live there and you can go holiday to America
I totally agree! I wrote this post 2.5 years agree 😉 I actually travel all over the world though, but Costa Rica is my heart home.
So beautifully put – I love this so much…we forget so often to just find gratitude and love in the simplest of things most importantly in the moment… I love that you’ve created this list and am going to use this next holiday xx
Thanks love xoxox
Really love this post! I found coming back from travelling this time it helped a lot to “get excited”. I even wrote lists of all the tiny things I was looking forward to – making green smoothies for breakfast, going back to my first yoga class, wifi that works! It’s definitely helped soften the blow of coming back to England in the winter! Thanks for sharing 🙂 xxx
Yes yes I completely agree!!! xoxo
Wow.. I love the realism and emotion that really comes through in this post. I can totally relate to some of what you went through moving back home although I only did it for a few months before leaving again myself.
I think that setting long-term goals that you mentioned can really make the transition easier, especially if your goals are travel-related and you have something to look forward to.
I always end up coming home and being more of a tourist than ever before as well. Got to keep up with those Instagram photos and find something cool and unique to share with the world, right?
Thanks for this!
You’re so welcome. I’m honored to feel this resonance <3 xoxo