Do You Have it All? - This American Girl

cocles waves


Three days ago, I was mugged.

For the second time in my life.

For the first time traveling.


Don’t worry, I am more than ok. 


What I didn’t expect

was how attached

I had become

to my possessions.


trees cocles


How after leaving my home

selling my car

and trading in my stilettos for havaianas


I became helpless

without my iPhone

my camera

my kindle.


playa chiquita


How after my third time living in a parasite infested humidity stricken jungle

I felt sadness about losing


a faded bikini

a dog eared mildewed novel

a bottle of sunscreen acquired in Portugal

clearly I don’t protect my skin often enough…


cocles sunset


And wondered


I care

so much




Why we all care, so much, about stuff.


sunset cocles


Is it because

we are so scared

that nothing is real

and nothing exists

unless we can touch it

see it

own it?


boat playa chiquita


That unless it lasts


in our possession

it never meant


at all?




With the understanding that no feeling

no experience

no person

lasts forever


do we look to physical objects, our possessions


to hold on

after the moment

the relationship

the dream





When we lose the object itself

do we finally feel

the actual loss?


Do we finally let go

of what we never owned

in the first place?


To allow new things to come?





I will try

to let go

of everything

except what I feel

in this moment.


cocles waves


The people I have loved.

The relationships I have endured.

The places I have been.

The dreams I have imagined.

The stories I have created.


And make room

for what is yet to come.





that everything


and that it is all

going to be


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Hello beautiful soul,
In August 2018 I stopped blogging as This American Girl. You can continue the journey with us over at Earth Daughters where we walk the sacred path of feminine awakening. Will love to see you there if it speaks to you.
With love, Camille