How to Figure Out What the F&*K You Should Be Doing With Your Life  -

How to Figure Out What the F&*K You Should Be Doing With Your Life 

Koh Lanta


We’ve all been there.


Lost, confused, and mystified about what exactly we should be doing with our lives. We invest in expensive degrees, we search for better jobs, we read self help books, and we even read blog posts like this one, all in our quest towards figuring out where our purpose lies.


We look to our professors, our partners, our friends, our parents, our coaches, our yoga teachers, our favorite authors, our favorite bloggers, you name it, hoping that they can give us the answers we need.


I hate to break this to you, but they never will. Because they can’t.


Koh Rong Samloem


That responsibility lies on each of us as individuals. And actually, that’s an incredible blessing.


Even being able to ask ourselves the question, “what is my life’s purpose?” is an absolute privilege. It means we have already recognized that we have the power and the freedom to decide exactly how we want to live our lives. We have the power and the freedom to decide exactly how we want to live our lives.


I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty damn exciting to me.


Laos - 12


In Hinduism, dharma is described as following one’s true, natural calling, which creates balance, harmony, and connection in the universe. By this definition, the sun’s dharma is to radiate warmth and light, the tree’s dharma is to provide shelter and clean air, and the bee’s dharma is to pollinate the flowers and make honey. When life forms live in accordance to their dharma, these tasks don’t feel like work. They feel like bliss.


For us humans, our dharma seems to be a little less clear.


Kuta Lombok


I recall a time when I didn’t have a clue about what my dharma was. Though to be fair, I hadn’t really investigated it. Rather I looked to what my peers were doing, what my parents were doing, and what society told me I should be doing.


It wasn’t until I stepped outside all of that, outside of the programming of the world I had lived in, and started to simply BE, that I began to walk my dharmic path. When I did, my tasks stopped feeling like work, and just like the honeybees and the trees and the sun, I too felt bliss.


koh phangan


Since then I’ve discovered that dharma lies at the intersection of what you’re naturally good at doing, what you enjoy doing, what lifestyle you want to live, and how you can serve others to make the world a better place.


Ready to discover YOUR life’s purpose? Let’s dive in.


Marino Ballena National Park


Step One: Do Nothing


Not what you expected? I’m not surprised. In our culture that’s completely obsessed with doing, we’ve somehow drifted from the simple practice of just being. If you don’t know how to just “be”, how can you possibly know what you should “do”? At the heart of it, the dharma of every single living thing on Earth is simply to exist. Embrace that first, and the rest will come much easier.


I first discovered just how useful doing nothing can be when I went to Costa Rica. I had been so “busy” in my life in the USA, that I had completely lost touch with how it felt to be alive. Taking two months off from work to sit and be in nature was the most profoundly constructive thing I’ve done in my entire life, and the catalyst that led me to discovering my life’s purpose.


Costa Rica is an amazing place to do this, but really, you can do it anywhere. Set aside time every day to go out and be alone in nature. Sit and listen to the sound of the water. Wake up in the morning and watch the sunrise. Practice yoga, meditate, do a relaxing visualization, lay in a hammock, do whatever it takes for you to shut off your mind and rest your body. When we allow the constant movement of our bodies to still, and the constant churning of our minds to silence, these are the times when the most profound wisdom within us surfaces. These are when we have those “aha” moments.


In fact, even Einstein, when on the brink of a discovery, would sit in a chair with a cup of coffee in his hand, so that just when he drifted off to sleep, the coffee would spill and wake him up with the answer.


There’s a much simpler, and less scalding way, you can achieve this same clarity. If you practice yoga, you already know it, it’s called savasana (aka dead man’s pose) or as I like to call it “doing nothing.”


To practice savasana, lay on your back, with your eyes closed, and feel the weight of your body grow heavy. At the same time, feel as if your chest, the tip of your nose, your fingers, and your toes were completely weightless. Focus on the spaciousness that surrounds you. Try to rest in a place somewhere between wakefulness and sleep. Keep practicing this and you will perceive yourself and the rest of the world much more clearly.


koh tao


Step Two: Own What Makes You a Rockstar


Now is the time to be boastful. Now is the time to look in the mirror and see what makes you perfect rather than what makes you flawed. Now is the time to own your unique gifts that make you so special.


I remember growing up, how it was much more socially appropriate among my peer group to say bad things about myself than good things. When someone complimented me, I denied the claim. I called myself ugly, fat, untalented, stupid, annoying, and crazy instead of gorgeous, healthy, talented, intelligent, fun, and expressive.


This self-deprecating thinking can be difficult to deprogram. It requires constantly shifting negative thoughts into positive ones. Waking up in the morning and repeating affirmations like “I am beautiful,” “I am worthy,” “I am fierce,” etc. can help you re-pattern your brain to believe how awesome you truly are. Because damnit, you are!


To really hone in on your unique strengths, sit down and think about how a dear friend might describe you. What words would they, or have they, used to praise your character? What compliments do you receive consistently from others? Make a long list and begin to notice common themes. From there, you can derive your greatest strengths.


koh tao - 24


Step Three: Figure Out What You Like to Do


For those of us who have very little free time, this may be the most challenging step of all. When your life is centered around school, work, family, friends, and relationships, it’s easy to get into habits and routines that don’t allow much time for play.


You remember play, don’t you? The thing that you did all the time when you were a child. The thing that you did that brought you absolute joy. To really know what it is that brings you bliss, you have to go out into the world and play.


Before I started traveling I went shopping and made dinner for friends in my free time. I decorated my apartment and gave people design advice. I thought that was what I was into. Even though I wasn’t that into it.


In Costa Rica, in a new environment, I was forced to try new things. I started playing by myself in nature, practicing yoga, writing stories, taking photographs, and dancing for hours with reckless abandon. To this day, these are the activities that bring me the most bliss and have become my deepest passions.


This is one of the many reasons why travel can help move us closer to our path. When we put ourselves in foreign places with the time and space to simply discover, we do more than learn about different foods and cultures and landscapes. We learn more about ourselves.


Whether you are traveling or not, make an effort to devote time to doing things just for the fun of it. Challenge your ideas about what kind of person you think you are. Try new things and it may surprise you what you discover about yourself.


If you already know the things that you love to do, do them more often and let them become a regular part of your life. For some reason our culture considers “hobbies” things we do in the rare moments when we have “free” time. We leave our greatest passions on the back burner rather than energizing them into unstoppable forces of positivity into the world.


Imagine if your life were actually centered on your hobbies. A life in pursuit of one’s dharma, a life in pursuit of one’s bliss, is exactly what that is.


San Blas


Step Four: Discover Your Ideal Lifestyle


Let’s forget about the details for a minute, and look at the bigger picture. What kind of life do you want to be living? What do you want your life to look like?


Start by thinking about what kind of environment naturally feels good to you. Imagine where you would physically be in space if you could be anywhere right now.


Would you be high in the mountains where you can hike every day and breathe the crisp air? Would you be at the ocean where you can play like a mermaid as soon as you wake up in the morning? Would you be in a bustling city where you have access to all kinds of people and activities and cultures and stimulation?


Then consider what your day to day might look like. Design in your mind your most perfect, ideal day and meditate on it.


Perhaps you start your day with a run down a long country road, or maybe you cook a beautiful meal for your family, or you sit inside of a temple in the mountains and meditate. Maybe your ideal day to day looks like adventurously exploring the world or maybe it looks like nesting in a place you love with the ones you love.


The bottom line is, your LIFE should dictate your WORK, not the other way around. Start focusing more energy on imagining what kind of life you want to create, and less on what kind of job you should be pursuing. When you focus on the life first, the job will become much clearer.


Growing Up - 31


Step Five: Forget About the Money


When we ask ourselves “what should I be doing with my life?” often what that question really means is, “how should I be making money?” Try your best to imagine that money doesn’t actually exist.


Imagine that you won the lottery tomorrow. You won so much that you would never have to think about money ever again. What would you decide to do with your time, for the rest of your life?


Mentally take yourself through the process of releasing the pressure of earning an income and centering your life on what you want to do instead.


Ultimate Guide to Puerto Viejo - 045


Step Six: Ask Yourself How You Can Serve Others


If you woke up tomorrow and you actually did win the lottery, it wouldn’t take long before you felt compelled to channel the energy you once put into making a living somewhere else. You might even begin to ask, “how can I use my time to make the world a better place?”


This shift is one away from survival and one towards service. Instead of wondering, “how am I going to pay the bills?” you can ask, “how can I change someone’s life for the better?” This attitude is one that ultimately leads to much greater fulfillment.


And that doesn’t have to mean quitting your job and joining the Peace Corps. Or starting a nonprofit. Or becoming a nurse or a teacher or anything else that carries the stereotype of “helping people.” Or resigning to poverty and giving away everything that you have to others.


The key to making the greatest impact on the world and its inhabitants is by channeling your unique gifts in a way that brings you the greatest joy. Follow your bliss, and the doors will open. Follow your bliss and the money will work out. Follow your bliss and everything will follow.


pavones beach jumping


It might be scary, and it might not be easy, but it’s worth it. And so are you.


The world needs to hear your voice. It needs to hear your voice just like the trees need sunshine to grow and the flowers need trees for shade and the honeybees need flowers to make honey. The world needs to hear your unique voice, so that it can live in harmony.



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  1. Well, you’ve done it again! Another beautiful piece that grapples with that big question of “What should I do with my life?” I like the way you created steps to help people discern their passions, and that you acknowledged that helping others can look different for each person. I’m sure I will be rereading this post many times to come :)

  2. Love being inspired to step further into the life you are talking about, yet feels scarey at the same time. I would love to move my health and wellness studio to Nosara or Central Valley….Anyone reading this post who resonates or has some wonderful connections, kindly let me know! In joy and service Leila.

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 5, 2015 at 10:57 am

      I hear you, and you know that’s one of the things that they say about dharma. If it scares you, that’s probably a good sign 😉

  3. Very inspiring! I am a new follower of your blog and have to say each post I reach is better than the last!

  4. This is real good stuff girl. Love it (and you)!

  5. I love this post – it’s beautifully written and filled with a wealth of inspirational advice. It seems to have arrived at a perfect time as well – you’ve helped me to answer many questions I’ve been asking myself lately!

  6. Wow i am speechless :) Nothing to add to or take away from it…so i´ll be silent.

  7. Thank you Camille! I need to be reminded daily that I am a human being not a human doing. It has taken years of “castle building” and failed relationships to finally accept that wherever I go, im still there. Peace Sister – allways go forward, never straight!

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 5, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      Thank you thank you Jim I loooovvee your quote “I am a human being not a human doing,” I might have to steal that from you :) xoxox

    • That would be cool – Just footnote me when you use it!…..”My brother Jim, in western CO…..” Living Large

  8. Makes me really wanna enroll Yoga class now! @@

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 7, 2015 at 11:36 am

      Awesome!! I can’t recommend it enough :) Also check out, I’m a huge fan of using it when I’m on the road away from yoga studios. If you make it down to Puerto Viejo, you can come and take one of my yoga classes :)

  9. Love it! You are like reading my mind and putting all the things I have thought about in one beautiful article.

  10. Warren Williams Says: June 6, 2015 at 10:09 am

    A good read and I can relate to what you are saying. It’s all about breaking away from the mainstream and finding your true self. In what I saw as a tragedy losing my job to Singapore turned out to be a blessing in finding a passion to travel. I am finding simplicity and freedom to be my own person.

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 7, 2015 at 11:37 am

      Absolutely, my Mom said something really soothing to me when I lost my job and my boyfriend a few years ago (the catalysts in me going to travel the world) which was, “you’ll never find the right man or the right job when you’re invested in the wrong ones.”

  11. Thank you so much for this post. I am grappling with this issue at the moment and your post has helped to clarify how to deal with it! :)

  12. […] If you want to read the article with its 6 steps to figure yourself out regarding work and goal in life -this is not about love, that is the only thing that can’t be fought for because it requires two people rowing naturally in the same direction-, you can take a look at this link. […]

  13. […] What are your unique gifts? What value do you have to offer the world? If you truly plan to sustain a life of travel, you need to find your greatest offering and give it as freely as you possibly can. In return you will receive all of the riches that you need. Know that you are priceless, know what the value you offer is worth, and graciously accept the currency of value. If you feel lost about knowing what your purpose is, read my post How to Figure Out What the F&*K You Should Be Doing With Your Life. […]

  14. Rubydarkstar Says: June 12, 2015 at 7:04 am

    Hey Camille, it’s been a while, so I had to binge read to catch up on your blog, which, buy the way, is evolving in the most wonderful way. Every time I read what you have written, my life starts to change….Your light( or should I say enlightenment?) IS having a profound effect on me, so know that you have changed at least 1 person for the better…

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 12, 2015 at 8:29 am

      Awwww thank you oh my goodness I couldn’t imagine a better boost to remind me that I’m walking my dharmic path. It means the world to know I’m helping you on yours <3

  15. Susan Peters-Chesley Says: June 13, 2015 at 10:05 pm


    I just finished reading several of your blog entries and I’m in awe. Your maturity, mindset and writing style is captivating and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing your experiences with confidence. We are all trying to find ourselves and it’s great to meet people along the way who help us do just that through sharing.

    Mahalo for sharing

  16. This, along with many of your blog posts, are wonderful to read!

    If I may, I’d like to ask your advice on something: I am taking a gap year before medical school and I’d like to do something special during that time. I want to travel, but I also want to build a project that would allow me to help people somehow. I don’t know how and with what money, but I know that I could do something significant, I just need to figure out what to do and how to do it. Any advice for a girl who is extremely lost but determined?

    Thank you.

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 17, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Hey dear! I would highly recommend you check out,, and Spend some time thinking about what you want to create, and then you can set up an entire campaign to get people involved in the fundraising :)

  17. Hi,

    I just discovered your blog, I only read 2 or 3 posts and I’m already seduced by the way you write, think, your beautiful pictures and your lifestyle :) But this one hit me specially. I suddendly lost my job yesterday, the one I had worked my ass for during the last years and where I thought I was making a carreer. So, still in shock, I’m standing here thinking what are my possibilities and what is it that I really want to do, for which this post was very helpful, like a bright light turning on.

    I still don’t have the answers and, as much as I’d love to, I doubt I will just go and travel the world like you 😀 but I feel much more positive than a while ago, maybe I will move to a new country once more, start a new adventure.

    Thank you.

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 18, 2015 at 11:20 am

      Ayla, I hear you and my heart is with you. I have been there. I lost two jobs in a row, which what finally propelled me to set off on this adventure. I know how low it can feel. Remember that it’s just the universe challenging you to consider a new way that speaks more authentically to your heart’s desires. Do what makes your heart flutter, whatever that is for you. <3

  18. Just wanted to say thank you. This blog completely resonated with me and I look forward to putting your steps into practice.

  19. Camille, you have written so many things lately that have inspired me and made me think a lot about my own life. I’ve been going through some tough times and question my life often. This piece that you wrote brought tears to my eyes. My life needs to change in many ways and this has given me a good starting point. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 18, 2015 at 11:02 am

      Suzi thank you for this feedback, it means SO much to me to hear that I’m helping guide you to the wisdom that already lives in your heart. Keep opening yourself to possibility and all will come to you <3

  20. Virginia Says: June 19, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    I have just discovered your blog, but this is exactly what I needed. I have just quit a good job because I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m in the process of trying to figure out what comes next. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ll figure it out. Thanks for some things to think about as I continue on this journey!

  21. Wow! What a phenomenal post. So very inspiring. Lots of life changing advice and beautiful pictures to go with it. Thank you Camille!

  22. trapspam.honeypot Says: June 22, 2015 at 4:08 am


  23. Well Im lost for words, You have said everything I already felt just never had the guts to do it. I thank you for you web and sharing your dreams with the world.
    I will be following you. THANK YOU

  24. This was beautifully written. Thank you so much for inspiring me. I’m a 21 year old who quit college, has no job, and is lost. I happened to come across your blog by accident or maybe even fate. I’ve been telling myself this is the year you will move out and figure what I want to do. After reading this article I’ve decided that what I want to do I can do it. I am my own barrier. Thanks so much. ^^

    • Camille Willemain Says: June 28, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      You’re so welcome I’m SO happy to hear it!! Be sure to sign up for my newsletter and stay in touch on all of your progress :) xo

  25. Once again, beautiful! And inspiring. And helpful. And…just yay!

  26. Camille,
    Your posts are so inspiring! You have helped me face my fears and plan a trip to Costa Rica for the rest of my summer. I am going next week and cannot wait and want to thank you for your words of encouragement and making the impossible seem possible. You rock!

    Peace and love,

    P.S. Where on earth is that awesome swing that you have pictured above Step Three? I want to go there!

  27. “Your life should dictate your work.” Agreed. I’m still in the process of completing these steps… But I’m on my way!

    • Camille Willemain Says: July 4, 2015 at 6:46 pm

      Awesome happy to hear it! Please let me know any help you need and I’ll try to answer it in a blog post :)

  28. Great post. Very inspiring. I recently returned to my home country with the view of a completely fresh start – mind and body. I’ve been sorted out my health, talking to people and working on meditation and mindfulness. It’s hard work, but very fulfilling to become more at peace. Reading your post, I can relate to a lot of aspects. Thanks,

  29. Kimberly Says: July 10, 2015 at 9:36 am

    I recently discovered your blog from following The adventures of Anna, and I must say I am so inspired! This has found me at a very stale point in my life where all I want to do is “run away”. Life has become so stagnant and meaningless. I don’t know what I want to do, I just know it’s not what I am doing right now! I feel very alone and lost even though I am married. I have a son who is almost grown and feel that it’s my time now to find myself. It seems so difficult when you own a house, have a family and pets and responsibilities but one thing I know for sure is life is short and it’s time to make a change. Thank you for your story. I will continue to follow you as I try to change my own story.

  30. I’m sitting at my desk job just dumbfounded by this article. I can’t shut my brain off in a good way. I have been asking myself some of these questions for a long time. I still don’t know exactly how to answer them but I feel like I’m getting closer. I can’t even think of anything else to say right now but Thank You!

    • Camille Willemain Says: July 10, 2015 at 9:25 pm

      You are so welcome Katie. Let me know if there’s anything that we can do to help you find the answers <3 Sending you love!! xx

  31. I AM FROM BUGLARIA and here everything is a way harder and more complicated. how , I , as a eastern european girl can live they way you do????? without being harrased or taken advantage of…i have done my best to start you know…work&travel USA program, ERASMUS program in FINLAND, hostess job in italy, then some EP weeks in france and BRUSSELS,week holidays in turkey, greece, malta and tunisia, some spain , some austria and hungary,, but really, how can I fund all of it without the help of my relatives earn some real RESPECT from people. now, even my BF likes to say – yeah, you do it with mom and dad’s money..I HATE IT!!!! he doesn’t know it is not only money that it takes to follow dreams. it’s character.they also keep telling me , get a real job. one of those “9 to 5″ sh*t.and in BULGARIA you cant even pay the bils with the f****** salary u get. PLEASE, GIVE ME ADVICE. I SO MUCH NEED IT

  32. You give the facts of life from the heart of the Buddha

  33. Thanks, you’re message is inspiring and re-iterates a lot of what I have been reading lately. I have been in a soul sucking job for 16 years doing what I needed to do initially for our family and later so tied up in what I earned that I was unable to quit. I have come to a crossroads with nowhere to go and have been reading a lot lately to figure out my true desires and hearts purpose. After a lot of soul searching I have found the answer was always right in front me. It is what you naturally gravitate to, enjoy doing and do in your free time, and what you are naturally gifted at. We all have unique gifts and talents and they speak to us every day. I am finally finding a new direction and am so excited to start my journey. I only wish I had listened to myself and started years ago. I was there… and then I fell off my true path listening to others expectations or belittling beliefs. I have grappled with self doubt and fear for a long time and now I realize I have been listening to my critics and paralyzed by their fears. I am now stepping out on my own path and following my own heart and desires and putting the critics behind me. Love your inspiration! Keep on your journey, you’re ability to write the way you do is a gift and your blessing to others. Thank you for being true to your hearts desires and knowing your true calling

    • Camille Willemain Says: August 25, 2015 at 8:02 am

      Michele, thank you thank you for your comment, and I’m SO excited to hear that you are on this new path and journey that feels more authentic to you. Don’t worry about not getting there sooner or getting sidetracked. It’s alllll part of the learning process. All of my love to you <3

  34. This post came at the perfect time. I’ve been following your blog for some time now and have always been inspired by your words, images and journey. My husband and I are seriously considering liquidating our lives and becoming full time RV’rs (we are in our early 40’s). Totally scary and totally exciting all in one. Thank you for sharing your process of letting go of the “who I should be” and making space for dreaming and allowing our authentic selves come to the surface. Life is too short to punch a clock for things and be a prisoner. Thanks again for sharing your journey.

    • Camille Willemain Says: August 25, 2015 at 8:07 am

      Ohhhhh yes, there is magic right there in that space that feels both scary and exciting. It’s usually a good sign that you’re on the right path <3 Thank you for always being such a loyal reader xoxo

  35. Robbi Rose Says: August 24, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    There are no accidents and I am so glad that I purposely stumbled across your blog… I asked the right question and the universe answered… Thank you for sharing your gifts and helping others discover theirs… I’m confidently seeking the answer and looking forward to the opportunity to live more fully in the moments…

    • Camille Willemain Says: August 25, 2015 at 8:07 am

      Robbi, thank you so much for your comment, and I totally agree! I’m so happy you found something juicy in my words, and I hope to continue to inspire and support you xo

  36. I’m 18 years old right now & I’ve been thinking about saving what I can until next summer & traveling the world. I’m terrified of what I’ll face but, that’s what excites me the most. Everyone thinks I “can’t” travel the world. My family thinks I was too sheltered to be able to run off & “do my own thing” but reading your blogs gives me so much hope & inspiration. I take in to consideration the advice I get but, I’m more excited now than ever to travel! Thank you so much for all of the tips, advice, & encouragement.I would LOVE to speak to you about my decision. Your blogs cover my main questions but I have a little more questions. Thank you again, so much!

  37. Great article! I think anyone in their early twenties can relate. I graduated college in NYC a little over a year ago and started working a job I spent my whole life thinking I wanted. It was travel that truly showed me otherwise. So I quit, took off and now I’m bartending in Australia! The adventure has been long and hard at times but exhilarating and eye-opening. I’ve gathered a much better idea of the environment I want to be in and how I want to spend my time. Travel puts everything into perspective.

  38. Beautiful post. I grew up as a writer and after years of harsh criticism of my parents and people around me telling me that writing made no money, I stopped. Over the years I have come to realize that I have allowed others to tell me how to live my life and have allowed them to hold power over what really makes me happy. Right now, my husband and I are getting ready to drop everything and just live and see the world. It’s absolutely terrifying but if not now, when?

    Thank you for being you and sharing your wonderful journey with us all. You truly are inspiring.

    • Camille Willemain Says: January 4, 2016 at 10:37 pm

      Aw thank you for sharing yours with us! I am so happy to hear that you are following your dreams despite the fear of the unknown. It’s all beautiful darling <3

  39. Step one is the KEY! I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with my life for 30 years and it wasn’t until I spent 2 weeks relaxing on tropical island that it finally hit me completely out of the blue. It was such a strong, undeniable feeling I felt throughout my entire body and it was just blissful, it was at that point I knew exactly what I wanted to do and with my life and where my passions lie. The only way to find your passion and purpose is to completely isolate yourself and spend time alone to allow it to come to you; all the years of mental introspection could not achieve this because it wasn’t from the inside but some kind of external source outside of my thought patterns.. it’s something beyond the mind, a source where our truth lies and I had never felt anything like it before.

  40. Thank you so much!
    You’ve saved and realigned my life.

    I was so lost organizing my ideas and desires and just by ready some of your posts i now know what to do next. Thanks to you i’m traveling for the first time in my life by myself.

    Love from Dominican Republic!
    If you ever come here, you have a place to stay.

  41. Thank-you for writing this, it has helped with my struggle of freedom to follow my bliss.